For me it’s about supporting you through one of the most difficult times of your life. Working with you to formulate a long term goal ... your big picture and the steps to get there. Then at every step along the way, I'll be there to help you focus on that step keeping you on track, always remembering the context of that big picture - your new life!
"Divorce is overwhelming. Coaching helps you make more considered decisions and helps you avoid getting hijacked by reacting to high conflict situations or emotional distress. This is in everyone's interest, especially your children's."
You will go through distinct stages:
- The Pre-divorce / separation planning
- The Preparation stage
- The Business side of Divorce
- The Moving On stage ... see Divorce Recovery Program
Everyone's needs through these stages will be different but involve:
- Preparing you for the divorce process, helping you to anticipate all the unknowns which may be ahead and how you may want to handle them – this is the most frequent request I get. Preparation can save you a lot of your solicitor’s time and therefore money. Particularly when Family Law Solicitors rates in Australia range from $450 to $800 per hour and are usually charged out in six minute intervals.
- A ten minute grumble to your solicitor could end up costing you $100 or more. These costs add up quickly.
- Coaching helps avoid this and keeps you centered on your action plan, plus using your solicitors time wisely. This in itself can pay for a coaching package and you get all the extra benefits.
- In line with your legal advice, we will clarify and evaluate decisions and options to do with:
- property settlement,
- parenting orders plus
- preparing parenting plans.
- This is a major part of the process and can be a minefield. It's important to remember that things are going to change; plus appreciate that neither of you may get exactly what you want.
I also work with you on developing skills you will need to call upon e.g. advanced communication and conflict management skills.
"What and how you negotiate is also an important aspect and can impact either positively or negatively on your ongoing parenting relationship which can affect both parties capacity to co-parent together in the future."
- Dealing with endings and change and focusing on the future, where you want to end up at the end of the divorce - the long term which is often lost amongst the anguish of the process.
- Setting a realistic plan to help you deal with the stress and overwhelm of all the unknowns, then supporting you to keep to that plan.
- Supporting you to be your “best self” during the whole process so that at the end you can say “I did my best and lived to my values” reducing possible regrets.
- Integral to all of this is how you deal with conflict, so coaching can be working with you to prepare how you are going to deal with a likely conflict situation. Taking The CDP Conflict Dynamics Profile is very useful here in promoting self awareness. Also identifing possible personal triggers for both parties allows you to focus on self-management techniques. This is really helpful in preparing for mediation or conferences where both of you are going to be present. It’s particularly relevant if both parties are committed to reaching a mutually acceptable settlement e.g. in Collaborative Family Law.